Duck Duck Goose

I'm going to throw a big word at you today. Ready for it?
Reciprocity. Say it like this: res-ih-pross-ih-tee.
So the dictionary says reciprocity is a "mutual exchange". I say it's everything.
I mean, Newton's Law said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right? Everything you do causes someone or something to respond. That's reciprocity. And a lack of reciprocity is actually one of the criteria of an Autism diagnosis.

When someone looks at you in the eye, you look back (and probably say "Hi" unless you're a creeper). That's reciprocity. When someone says "I hate your guts" you'll probably get angry or upset. You might even cry. That's reciprocity. If you say "Hi" to Waylon, he can't say "Hi" back. But it's not like he can't actually say "Hi". It's like he's got nothing in the reciprocity department. You could say, "Say Hi, Waylon." And he would say, "Say Hi, Waylon." You could even say "I hate your guts, Waylon" and he would probably look at you and giggle and flap his arms. He would have no clue how to respond. It's just his lack of reciprocity. (Even though I'm not sure who would say that. Because I mean the kid is freaking gorgeous and awesome).
So mostly, when I say Waylon can't talk, I don't mean he can't actually say words. I mean he's got nothing in the reciprocity department. I could spend all day saying "Waylon, say I want fish sticks" and Waylon would say "Waylon, say I want fish sticks". He just can't reciprocate on his own. When I say, "Hey, Waylon, what do you want for lunch today?", he can't say, "Hey Mom, I want some fish sticks".
One of the most difficult things is watching a toddler initiate play with Waylon and seeing him completely ignore them like he has no clue what to do (even though he's twice their age). Because he honestly doesn't know what to do. When it comes to reciprocity, the boys got no skills.

So what's the gold standard for teaching reciprocity to preschoolers? Duck, Duck, Goose, of course. Waylon's been working on learning Duck, Duck, Goose since he was knee high to a grasshopper. And although he just graduated Kindergarten, I suspect that they were still spending quite a bit of time learning Duck, Duck, Goose.
Because guess what? He's finally getting it. For the first time, Waylon understands enough reciprocity to sit down and play a game with his brother and sister without being forced into it.
And he loves it.
It's the perfect game for Waylon, really. It's predictable, but it has just enough suspense. It's repetitious, but he knows he can take off running to get an extra giggle out of his brother and sister at any moment (and Mom and Dad too). It's the perfect way for Waylon to show us how much he loves to be with us.
It's reciprocity. And it's awesome.

See for yourself!

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