Duck Duck Goose

I'm going to throw a big word at you today. Ready for it?
Reciprocity. Say it like this: res-ih-pross-ih-tee.
So the dictionary says reciprocity is a "mutual exchange". I say it's everything.
I mean, Newton's Law said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, right? Everything you do causes someone or something to respond. That's reciprocity. And a lack of reciprocity is actually one of the criteria of an Autism diagnosis.

When someone looks at you in the eye, you look back (and probably say "Hi" unless you're a creeper). That's reciprocity. When someone says "I hate your guts" you'll probably get angry or upset. You might even cry. That's reciprocity. If you say "Hi" to Waylon, he can't say "Hi" back. But it's not like he can't actually say "Hi". It's like he's got nothing in the reciprocity department. You could say, "Say Hi, Waylon." And he would say, "Say Hi, Waylon." You could even say "I hate your guts, Waylon" and he would probably look at you and giggle and flap his arms. He would have no clue how to respond. It's just his lack of reciprocity. (Even though I'm not sure who would say that. Because I mean the kid is freaking gorgeous and awesome).
So mostly, when I say Waylon can't talk, I don't mean he can't actually say words. I mean he's got nothing in the reciprocity department. I could spend all day saying "Waylon, say I want fish sticks" and Waylon would say "Waylon, say I want fish sticks". He just can't reciprocate on his own. When I say, "Hey, Waylon, what do you want for lunch today?", he can't say, "Hey Mom, I want some fish sticks".
One of the most difficult things is watching a toddler initiate play with Waylon and seeing him completely ignore them like he has no clue what to do (even though he's twice their age). Because he honestly doesn't know what to do. When it comes to reciprocity, the boys got no skills.

So what's the gold standard for teaching reciprocity to preschoolers? Duck, Duck, Goose, of course. Waylon's been working on learning Duck, Duck, Goose since he was knee high to a grasshopper. And although he just graduated Kindergarten, I suspect that they were still spending quite a bit of time learning Duck, Duck, Goose.
Because guess what? He's finally getting it. For the first time, Waylon understands enough reciprocity to sit down and play a game with his brother and sister without being forced into it.
And he loves it.
It's the perfect game for Waylon, really. It's predictable, but it has just enough suspense. It's repetitious, but he knows he can take off running to get an extra giggle out of his brother and sister at any moment (and Mom and Dad too). It's the perfect way for Waylon to show us how much he loves to be with us.
It's reciprocity. And it's awesome.

See for yourself!

If the video doesn't appear, you can click here to see it on YouTube.

Date Day

Love me some date day action.

It is a requirement, of course, that we schedule time for ourselves each month. Not at a wedding, or a party where we spend our time catching up with friends. On an honest-to-goodness date, where we spend our time catching up with each other. No crappy pants, no screaming, no chasing children allowed.

Last month the stars aligned and our work schedules gave us one beautiful Tuesday together. I was so pumped. I waited for it all month.

 

 

We put the kids on the bus and went to town for breakfast. Then we headed out to hit some flea markets and antique stores. Margaritas and Dos Equis for lunch.

 

Trav scored a new (old) pocket knife and I found a whole set of carrom pieces to go with the antique carrom board I scored at a flea market a few years ago. (Sweet!)

Here are a couple deals that we decided not to bring home... 



Because a deer head on the wall isn't creepy enough, let's use his feet for coat hangers. I feel like he's just flipping us off with all four feet.





Hopefully this actually worked and it's not still teaming with creatures. Nobody wants to take that home after a date.

 

So I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. People think they don't have time for dates because they are busy raising their children? The best thing you can do for your children is show them how much you and your spouse care about each other. You will be better parents if you take time out for yourselves, and your children will be better people for it too.

 

Now don't get me wrong, going on monthly date nights does not make our marriage perfect. Au contraire, sometimes I really want to kill him. Being married is seriously a job. And like any job, you have to commit yourself to it.

 

Now that Spring has sprung, I'm thinking our next date will be a trip to the golf course (Insert inappropriate joke here Eric, Allyssa, Matt, and Val).

He is so awesome at everything, but he is terrible at golf. It does my ego good to smoke him at something every now and then.

Where are you going on your next date?



5 Reasons Special Ed Teachers Rock

Over the past four years, we have had nearly 40 special education teachers, paras, tutors, speech pathologists, occupational therapists, and BCBA's touch our lives. We still keep in touch with many of them, and we think of most of them often. So as we finished up Teacher Appreciation Week last week, I couldn't help but think of some of the reasons why special education teachers are so amazing.
The first one that comes to mind....

     1. They wipe kids' butts.
I mean, seriously, is that in the job description? I doubt it. But they do it anyways. Plus, after the butt is clean, they have crappy underwear to take care of. Who specializes in Underwear Rinsing? Not these people. It's just one of the perks of the job.

     2. They don't get a lunch break.
Because when they sit down in a miniature chair to open their lunchbox on the miniature table, across the room ten kids are screaming and/or throwing themselves or their chairs on the floor in protest of their GFCF (tasteless) lunch.

     3. They wear their heart snot on their sleeve.
If you consider that each Lysol wipe kills 1,000 germs, and each container has 100 wipes, the obligatory two Lysol containers I sent could have killed about 200,000 germs. Factor in each of the ten snotty cesspools whose sneezes deliver 100,000 germs at 100 miles per hour and I'm pretty sure we were behind in the germ race twenty minutes into the first day of school in the fall. Plus, kids who can't really communicate have a little trouble understanding the whole elbow-sneeze technique. Ever heard of hand-over-hand prompting? Only if you have plenty of germ-x.

     4. They brush ten sets of teeth a day.
Do I even need to describe a scene where ten children who don't like sensory stimulation are getting their teeth brushed at once? Actually I can't describe it, because I can't fathom it. One is enough for me. Does every special education classroom even do this? Probably only the really awesome ones. (Ahem... Mrs. Boyer's class.)



Patience is... teaching a kid who can't say a fluent sentence
how to write his name. Amazing.

     5. They have the patience of saints. 
People think I have a lot of patience, but the truth is when the going gets tough, I can always pop in a Pixar movie and hand out Little Debbies for a few minutes of peace with a Nicholas Sparks book. Special education teachers don't have that luxury. They're on their toes all day. While other teachers are worrying about finding popsicle sticks for a pinterest craft, special education teachers are worrying about being ready for a seizure, or an emotional mom at an IEP meeting. When most teachers are prepping for a summer of freedom from the crazy kids that have been driving them nuts since Spring Break, special education teachers are prepping for summer school or social skills groups, or new classroom strategies to try in the Fall. And at the end of the day, when they are exhausted and worn out, tired of crappy pants and screaming kids and collecting data and documenting behaviors, they still find the time to write a note to say your kid was a "rock star" (miss you Gentri =) ) plus three incident reports from your kid banging their head on the floor/desk/wall.
And all the meanwhile, I'm afraid they aren't realizing how incredibly important they are in the lives of so many families.

So in lieu of the kids in class who are sensory avoiding and don't offer bear hugs each morning, or for the kids who are language delayed and can't express their gratitude for all you do, or even for the kids who just hate your stinking guts because you make them say words before you let them have their snack...
Thank you.
From the bottom of our hearts.



Disclaimer: This post was not intended to make any special education teachers cry. If however, this occurs, it is only fair. You make us cry at every milestone, every note of awesomeness, every IEP meeting, and every therapy bill.

Toiletphobia

I finally got my smart phone back.
But now I have a toiletphobia.
We were road tripping again today, and my phone was terrified.

 

I am terrified for the day this girl turns 16.

 

Here's to a good insurance plan and urine-free cell phones. People who take pictures in public restrooms. And sassy four year olds who turn into well behaved, saint-like, honest and charming teenagers... right????

 

Hope you all have an amazing week!