But regardless of my current state, I thought I'd jump out of my blogging hiatus with a few things worth mentioning:
Numero Uno: He lost a tooth.
O.M.G.G. (ohmygoodnessgrief) I know he's seven and all, but he's my baby. I rock him to sleep and cradle him when he is upset. He is not old enough to be losing teeth. But actually he is. And that makes me sad.
The loose tooth discovery went down like this-
So for supper that night, mom-of-the-year made corn-on-the-cob. Oops.
And so the removal of said tooth went down like this-
So my hands were a little full trying to help pin him down in the dentist chair and I didn't get to snap any pics, but this is actually a rather accurate depiction. When he realized that his spit was red he was so excited he could hardly contain himself. It was like those little art kits that have splatter paint, only his paint only came in red and was a serious biohazard for all of the employees/children/poor innocent bystanders in the pediatric dentist's office. I was covered in red splatter paint, as was the rest of southern Johnson County, within a few short minutes.
Numero dos: As previously mentioned, there is a beautiful little lifeform growing inside me that isn't coming out.
Ok so, today is my due date. It's not like I've been pregnant forever, (just kidding I actually have). But it's time that this baby makes an appearance.
I've drank pickle juice and castor oil, eaten Mexican food and coated myself in essential oils. I've rubbed the little spots on my ankles that the girls at work "swear made them go right into labor". I take the stairs at work. I walk, walk, walk. I pray.
And yes, I did the things that you are thinking of that I can't type or else I will giggle and blush.
And it's not working.
I know I won't be pregnant forever- (this baby has to come out sometime, right?) but I really don't want to be induced. I just want to have a good old fashioned labor and delivery, where a adorable/handsome girl/boy pops out with big beautiful eyes and a perfectly healthy brain.
Is that so much to ask?
So I thought it might be worth mentioning that tomorrow, when I come waddling into 3rd and 4th grade biddy basketball, with my three adorable little offspring in tow (one, no doubt, bouncing around the gym in mismatched clothes and a side pony and one, no doubt, banging on the water fountain to watch the water splash), you should not be offended when you ask me when I'm due and I look at you like this:
You're welcome for the warning.And Numero tres: Someone out there thinks I'm funny or something.
I thought it might be worth mentioning that I happen to be making my stardom debut next month as a stand-up comedian at the Mission Theatre. It's true. I'm scared spitless.
I don't think I'm actually funny, it's just that my kid craps all over the place and the story surrounding it is usually good for a laugh or two. And, BONUS- by the time February 28th rolls around, I will have TWO kids that crap all over the place. More bang for your buck!
So if you're up for a night of comedy for a good cause, come check it out. And bring your tomatoes.
You can get tickets here! http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/549916
Exciting! Multiple congratulations in order! I'll add a healthy/safe/timely delivery to my prayer list and best of luck at the stand-up show - you've been HILARIOUS for as long as I can remember so I know you'll knock it out of the park!
ReplyDeleteAh thanks, Brandi! I hope so!
DeleteHi Lindy! My name is Cameron and I was wondering if you'd be willing to answer a quick question I have about your blog. You can reach me at my email below. Thanks so much! I look forward to hearing from you soon. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Lindy-
ReplyDeleteI've only just discovered your blog and I'm already a big time fan.
I had the opportunity to fly down from Chicago Friday night to attend the "Evening with the 'Rents" event and am so grateful that I did.
You guys were all hilarious!
You must consider bringing that kind of event to other cities (Chicago first, please).
It was really comforting and cathartic to be amongst other autism parents and be able to laugh about our daily plights together.
You were amazing. As good as any professional comedian I've seen, and I've seen quite a few.
I'm just sad my husband didn't get to join me (he was home "babysitting" our three kids).
But thanks to your crew/family who posted it- he did get to watch your set on YouTube just now.
I wish the other parent/comics do the same with their sets soon and post 'em up to YouTube.
I just can't get the delivery quite right when I try to retell the jokes to my husband.
Anyway-
Your standup routine and your blog entries beautifully capture and eloquently express what it's like to raise a little guy on the specturm with a houseful of other little ones.
Your Waylon sounds alot like our Liam.
Good job the other night.
Keep blogging and I'll keep following.
Your new fan from Chicago-
Katie Dillon
Katie! I am thrilled to have a follower from Chicago!
DeleteWasn't the Evening with the 'Rents SO MUCH FUN? I really had a blast doing it. I am just glad that I can a) help other people understand our kiddos, and b) help mommas and dads know that they are not alone!
I took a bit of a hiatus after the baby and the comedy show, but look for new blogs soon! =)