vacay narrative

So, we went on a vacay. It was everything that twelve days in a 1997 motorhome with seven people could be. (Amazing, with a few frightening and hilarious stories.)

We explored caves,

hiked mountains, 

floated rivers, 

and swam in the ocean. 

We took the World's Best Sitter along and she basically saved my life and I wanted to kiss her at least once a day but I refrained because I didn't want to scare her away and I realllly needed her help.

We saw the World's Largest Rocking Chair and the World's Largest Mailbox, and the World's Largest Wind Chimes, and all that walking gave me the World's Largest Chaffing on my thighs. 

We went to see a life size replica of Noah's Ark.
Spoiler alert: Noah built a suuuuuuuper big ark

and Shem was suuuuuuper hot 

(and could totally pull off a man bun if he wanted to). 

(TK is obvs a direct decendent of Shem. Just gotta work on that man bun.) 

We had a blast at our family reunion and by my observation we weren't even the weirdest people there. Which is really saying something because I mean...

Waylon discovered swimming naked is more fun. I learned how to put trunks back on a 10 year old with the ocean waves beating against us. Turns out, when ocean waves are free to move about Waylon's business, he can't. stop. giggling.

Note the lobster that washed ashore. Little known fact, the lobster's wife suggested sunscreen and he politely declined.

Have no fear, my friends: I know this narrative cannot possibly give justice to our epic vacation- so I am currently creating a soon-to-be Oscar nominated short film titled, "Getting There Is Half the Fun, So Zip It." Production has unfortunately been halted due to a tragic accident involving the laptop and a child who is still in police custody. JK. But if that movie is not in the cloud when the laptop returns from Apple Purgatory I'll probably drop him off at the jail for a night. (Unless they're willing to keep him longer.)

So listen, there's been this thought floating in my head and I just need to get it out. Usually it takes me about a lifetime to write a blog post and get it published. But this is important- I cannot wait any longer.

The ocean makes me believe in God. 

Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts...

But seriously though.
When I look at the huge/enormous/mysterious ocean, my soul moves. When the waves lap against the sand, delivering beans and leaves from somewhere that I can't see, I am in awe of His power. And when I lightly run my foot through the wet sand and see ten little shells with slime in them appear and then quickly burrow down to bury themselves in my giant shadow, I am in awe of His creation. The vastness of it all makes me... and my rubbing chaffed thighs... feel so small. I think about all of the times that the Bible says that God created and loves every creature, and I think, "EVEN ALL THESE SHELL THINGS?"

Voted People's Choice for Most Unattractive Feet in a Beach Photo

Well, we're home. The people of the Mississippi Delta (have you ever been there?? ...whoa) suggested duct tape instead of waiting for a repair shop. So we drove the last ten hours without AC or TV like it was 1990 or something. Which was ridiculous and I don't know how people survived but whatever. 

The dirt on that foot though.

So now I am in Kansas- the middle of the United States- and I'm searching for more of that ocean feel. But I'm looking for it in my kid's dirty toes that are growing by the second, my overgrown yard that allows my kids to grow up in God's country, and my patients at work that change me in new ways every shift. The ocean is a little harder to see in Kansas, but it's there.

Where do you see the ocean? 

life is like a stack of pancakes

Sometimes I tell people I "dabble in stand-up comedy." This is an alternative fact. 

I dabble in life.

Life is a tricky thing to dabble in. Life is messy. There's no avoiding it. You, and I, and the mom who is always early for school pick up with fresh highlights and a mason jar of cookies for the teacher, are all carrying around the burden of life. Don't be fooled.

I see life as one giant stack of pancakes- the ones from IHOP with all the strawberry drizzle and whipped cream on top. (They're $5.99 and basically carb-less.) If you just dive right in and enjoy it, you don't really notice how messy it is.

Once, someone said "You should do stand-up comedy." And I said, "You're crazy." But long story short, I dove in. For me, stand up comedy gives the mess of life a whole new flavor. It's like licking your fingers at the end of a good meal. 

 For the past few months I've been working with this wild tribe (and a few others) to produce a stand up comedy benefit for Camp Encourage. The first night we were mostly strangers and now this troupe knows all my dirty laundry (and there's a lot of it). 

Each one of them, like me (and you, and that perfect mom in the school pick up line), has a messy life. But each one of them, like me, knows the liberating joy of discovering the finger licking good humor in life. 

I've so enjoyed watching these brave souls grow from suckers who were conned into this, into stand-up comedians. You're going to love them, too!

Join us this Friday night, March 10, for An Evening With The 'Rents at the Gem Theater in KCMO. If our show sucks (it won't) and the beer sells out (it could- my family will be there), you can rest assured that thanks to our wonderful sponsors, 100% of ticket sales go straight to Camp Encourage.

And, bonus: I'm playing a ukulele. 😱